Second post of the day...

Oh dear.....

I wonder what sighs are these? Happy sighs? Sad sighs? Heavy hearted sighs? OH no sighs?? And why am I sighing this way. You must be kidding me,Abby.

Well, I honestly wonder what's going on this mind of mind? I don't go emo over these stuff. BUT why now?

I never expected myself to be in this situation of non stop thinking, mind messiness, insecure.. What else? Comparing myself? Well, I thought it would have been a better day after learning the whole thing but why am I feeling worse? Well, I know why actually, just a way of speech.

I was thinking of it the whole day and when I read it(secretly), my heart dropped again. 

IF. Choose. Again.

Those three words. 

I told myself I must not and should not think of it in that way but I can't. It just occurs over and over and over again. Never ends in this confined space of mine..
 The thoughts of IT. 

Why? Why does this make me so messed up? WHY? 

I don't like this feeling of being all sad or the feeling of 'I don't know-ness' and sighing a lot. It's not a cool feeling. 

I will be okay. I must be! This cannot continue. 

I know God's in control. I must let Him be in control. He's there for me and IT doesn't need to make me all ughed up. 

I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I might end this messed up feelings and not continue it. Cause the bar that has been set is just too high. I don't think it is or will be right. For me and IT! 

Thank you,for opening my eyes. Thank you,for showing me it's fine. Thank you for being you! Well,that was the part that blew my mind.

Smile! Get back studying already. Enjoy the Christmas party later!

Thank you Lord! 

Be Abby. 

Loveyoulongtime,

Abby:)